Idea of Exploration

It is amazing to believe, that exploration, being the central to the phenomena of human evolution, has shaped the world we live in, and has made the way we think, do things and achieve the remarkable. All that possesses life has evolved based on the theory of natural selection following the law of “survival of the fittest”, as quoted by Charles Darwin, human being were different, in way that the demarcation of the fittest was not only based on physical power and sense of survival, but on and idea to explore, to learn and to develop self and the society. Though I am not an expert on the subject nor, I have read the science of evolution by Darwin, but I do strongly believe that, the sense to explore, was singular most natural trait that led to the natural selection of the fittest human being.

The only peculiarity that I carry forwarded from my childhood quirks was this sense that led to my emotional evolution. the urge of exploration that I carried all along my childhood, that only thing I do remember being a kid is disassembling things, toys and whatever that intrigued me. I would never rest unless I’ve known how things worked, but my inquisitive found an unusually social angle. As years passed and I grew up, and could feel disconnect in observing behaviours considered generally normal. My curiosity did not limit itself to finding scientific reasons, but I found myself questioning traditions and challenging behaviours considered as social maturity. My approach came to be generally considered unceremonious and vile at times. It became more difficult to mingle with people, make friends and participate in groups as a young man with a repulsive character to people’s perception about me.

Alas, I came to believe that questioning was wrong, and that to for socially accepted and comfortably approved behavioural customs was something unholy. I got pulled into becoming an introvert. I turned my back to the urge of exploration and began a long wallow, but yet the fire within me wouldn’t die. Thus writing became and alter obsession, a place to pose my questions and worries to. The ubiquitous diary became a friend so close that I even personified it and used to indulge in deep conversations with the imaginary him, and even reach to conclusions of discussions and arguments on variety of ideas. I would research, explore random ideas that amused me, and jot them down in detail. My inquisitiveness and thus writings would generally revolve around topics not of science, but of generic human social prejudices, customary behavior traits and their after effects on personality of individuals and groups. The influences that any particular way of life has on the society. We would all agree on the way scientific theories and finding get developed, through rejecting to accept the obvious and finding the explanation to natural occurrences on already established and accepted rules of science. Similarly, the way people react to situations, their culture, the religions and their customs, which everybody takes for granted for and accept as learnt from their pervious generations and peers, shows that how fragile the human being is, that he cannot survive and live a normal life without the support system of the society, shouldn’t it be questioned? That why do individuals have to be in a particular manner and on the other, how on earth did this custom or social trait came to existence.

All this confused me lot, and I had become such poor victim of these social traditions and customs that I would never understand the meanings behind social moves of people around me. This so obvious for others were most complex for me, I would wonder how others would accept such abstract concepts of social behaviours which I could not. I desperately needed answers to the questing waging war within me, for the detachment that I felt was giving way to self indignation. Researching and writing about such abstract ideas would satiate me to a good extent, and it was amazing to observe myself change as person when I wrote. I attempt to share my musings with the world today though this internet media.

– c’sudip.